Hey everyone.
I'm blogging again for the third time in three days. It's pathetic, I know. But when it's pouring down rain outside, as well as colder than Antartica, then you soon discover nobody is going to be stupid enough to want to come and buy a phone. They're being smart and sitting at home in bed curled up in the doonas and watching movies all day with a hot chocolate and lots of biscuits. So that is why I am blogging. I am bored! Haha.
I was listening to the radio this morning whilst waiting for some to open up the door for work. And on the radio they were discussing how in a long term relationship, the words 'I love you' expressed to one another are now just as unmeaningful as saying 'I want a piece of toast'. It got me thinking, I mean I will always have the fairytale thought running through my head, that 'I love you' is always meant to be meaningful when you say it. I also believe that the words become meaningless if you no longer mean them. Oh I dunno, but it's got me thinking, how I will be in a couple of years, if I am still with Nick.
Sometimes I think people put too much onto the words and the feelings, and leave everything else behind. I honestly believe that if a person doesnt meet my expectations in regards to a relationship (and I dont think my expectations are unreasonable) then I think that that person doesnt deserve me. Then again, I honestly just dont want to be hurt again because I made the mistake of thinking that love was what's supposed to hold a relationship together. I also dont believe though that the relationship has to be hard work every step of the way, I believe there has to be a balance, an equal partnership and trust. But then again I am young and impressionable, and also a little naive I think. I no longer believe in 'true love', that's there's only one for you in the whole world. But I do believe there's someone out there that compliments you in everyway, and that you feel you're on equal footing with; someone you can fight with but not in a malice way, someone you can always fix a mistake with, someone who understands who you are, and just accepts you. Gosh, I am a sap sometimes.
Moving on...
I have also been thinking about my place in the world. Whether in my lifetime I will make a difference to something, or just a difference to my family or friends. Will I contribute something to this life that I lead, or will I just coast through. I've been thinking that I have to do more about my life, about my health etc. I mean I make these promises that I never fulfil and that depresses me a little. I feel lazy, and I feel I complain a lot. It's ridiculous. I should stop complaining and do something. I think my problem is, I dont know where to start. Should I decide to get fit, or should I write more, should I focus more on study, should get I get a car, should I travel? So many questions. I know one thing is, I am definitely going to save more. Even if it's only $5. At least then I can say I am doing something about improving my life. But it's safe to say that even though I have things I want to do, I am still very happy in my life. I have a boyfriend I love (and I know the irony in me saying that just now), I also have 2 gorgeous cats and 1 even gorgeous dog. I love my family, wouldnt know what I would do without them. And wonderful friends who keep me going through my boring days at work at least haha.
Oh it's still raining, so that means still no customers. Joy! I wish Iw as back to yesterday. I was cuddling up on the couch with Nick watching True Grit (really not as bad as I previously expected, and funnily I actually enjoyed it, for a westernish movie) and also watching him play this game called LA Noire which I am completely addicted to, even though I haven't even touched the controls to play it. I also blogged again yesterday, a little poem, nothing fancy, and played poker, won then lost as it always happens. And I had macoroni cheese for dinner, that I made. It was a good, relaxing day in between work and the weather.
Okay, I guess you're all bored now, and so I shall post this and move on to more exciting things, like waiting for customers or picking at my nails, or possibly going for lunch soon yay!
Don't take life and love too seriously my friends and I'll catch again soon, probably tomorrow because I am working again and supposedly it's raining again. Anyways ciao!
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