Just Like Elevator Music

Hello everyone!

It's been a while since I last blogged. So I guess it's that time again when I rant about something that's probably uninteresting and longwinded. Today's rant comes to you by the lovely waiting line of Telstra's customer service over the phone. It's such a pleasure.

It's ironic that I am complaining about Telstra, considering I am a Telstra dealer. Or maybe it's hypocritical, I've never locked in the meaning of both in my vocabulary.

And I know what you're thinking, Telstra dealer, should be able to get Telstra on the phone pretty easily. But alas, as employees of Telstra we are subjected to the same customer service waiting and skills that our customers do. But unfortunately, we don't get to be in the comfort of our own homes. We get have to be on hold for hours while we have the customer is in store. Good job, Telstra!

Oh well, I guess they get hundreds of calls regardless, and I am just bored and am wanting something to rant about while I am on hold. Funny, since I have been on hold for 20minutes now. Which makes my rant a slightly valid one, but once again oh well.

Anyway, my darlings, it's been wonderful catching up with you all. Hope you've had a happy week and will have an amazing weekend. Halloween!!

Ciao!!

True Love

Hello everybody!

I have a massive rant coming up today and it starts with this younger generation (younger than me that is). I have to say that I despise the together forever relationships younger people are having these days. And in that I am saying the ones that start and within a week, you are in love. Because you know what love is at that age. Of course you do you know everything. You're barely out of nappies and you're giving your entire heart/life to this one person. Really? Honestly? You are? Are you awake? Are you even in there?

I love how you're 14 and you think this 'love' is that of Romeo and Juliet and it's forbidden and everlasting. Because he would never leave you, because he's always going to think with his 14 year old brain and realise he's going to marry the girl he flung to poo at as a child. But if you're one of the lucky few, I apologise and have congratulations for you and your wonderous relationship. But the other ones, this will probably one of three divorces throughout your life. But of course, this specific one is the special one, because you miss him every second and he allows you to take pictures of you and him kissing, for you to show the entire world over facebook, and to have your teenie bopper friends comment saying what a cute couple you two are and that you're going to last forever.

Honestly, he will probably turn out to be gay. He's obviously way too feminine because allow all this.

But it's so good that he wants to spend every waking moment with you. And uses all his credit on you with nice little words of love only meant for you and you alone. I bet you he's not at the Blue Light Disco kissing another tween. Nope, he's given his whole heart to you. You've already talked about marriage and kids, because you two have so much in common that it's so unbelievable, he must be your soul mate. Never mind that you'll probably lose your virginity together, and it was both awkward and messy, but that's this thing you shared. Never mind one day he's going to eventually want to know what it's like with another girl, any other girl, because well let's face it, at 14 he's only been with one, unless you count the nice older girl he knew who taught him about kissing and sex and stuff. If he's so lucky.

Sorry about my rant, I am tired of reading facebook status about girls telling their boyfriends of one week that they love them, and blah. Because honestly, that's not going to end up in unwanted pregnancy and eventually divorce, no, never, what am I talking about?

Hope you all liked it. Not that I worry about what you think, because I am smart and therefore I am right. Only kidding. Have awesome weekends, and until next time....

Ciao!

Sweeter than Chocolate

Hello everyone,

I've been thinking about my life, and I've realise I am going great lately. I have released a lot of tension from my shoulders and been feeling wonderful because of it.
There's lots of things coming up that I am looking foward to. I can't wait for Halloween, I miss dressing up and feeling just slightly American. They do Halloween as well as a chef does dinner, which usually if you get the right restaurant is absolutely brilliant. They do all holidays justice. Here in Australia, we just don't get as involved as the Americans do. Unless it's footy. I love footy, don't get me wrong, but geez Louise, there are other things to get excited about.

Other things that I have been thinking about is that I cannot wait for this semester to end. I have one assignment and two exams to go, and I am done like dinner. Hmm, I do seem to like the dinner references today. If only I could find the motivaton to do my assignment, then I would be breezing through. I prefer exams over assignments anyday, all you do is study and read and remember. I am not good with formal writing. Oh well, these things need to be done.

I am looking forward to next year. It's going to be a changed year. Not as much stress I don't think. Let's hope that I won't be the massive slacker I have been this year. Hehe.

Anyways lovelies, that's my little update for today. Hope you're all well and that you update your blogs soon. I miss reading about you all.

Ciao!

URGENT UPDATE!!

OMG! Just saw a spider!!! - white tail I think. It moved up the other side of the glass wall and around the corner into my cubicle. Sarah got a tissue and picked it up. But silly her didn't squish it and it moved and she dropped it!! Then proceeded to pick it up again, and squealed as she put it in the bin, as it moved again. We were squealling. My manager wouldn't even go near it. And after all this, is when Justin finally comes in, where was he a few minutes ago. He heard screaming and came out. Typical after the fact. Now, all I feel is things crawling on me. I wanna go home!! eww eww eww eww eww eww eww. I'm paranoid it has babies and they're going to get me. I keep looking around my desk. URGH. So disgusting.

TV Series Galore

Hey everyone,

Sorry I haven't been blogging much. But I have been wrapped on watching tv series lately. Courtesy of learning naughty things from Kerri and Nick. I have been on intra-semester break (only a week off), but I have been caught up in shows. Currently, I am watching Lost Girl, so far it's okay, I am liking it. Kerri got me onto it. It's a bit predictable and easy so far, but still likable.

Before Lost Girl, I have been watching season 4 of True Blood. Far out that show is trippy as. But Eric is so adorable in this season. I am more in love with him. Sookie annoys me like always. But I like this season the best out of all, mostly due to puppy Eric. :)

I finally watched the end of season five of Ghost Whisperer. Disappointed because I never wanted the show to end, but it ended how I thought it would. Still a good series and I can't wait to buy the entire set. But I will have to wait until after my trip. Damn Vietnam.

That is all from me now. Hope you guys have an awesome weekend. Ciao!

Date-In's!

Hello my peeps.

I have decided that I love date-in's. Kerri and I did one the other night, and it was so much fun, despite the fact that she lives a million miles away from me. We watched Transformers whilst webcamming. Skype would probably be easier, but I have never used it, so I don't know.

It was so much fun, having snacks, while we both were quoting the movie. Love, love Transformers! Transformers + Kerri + snacks and a warm blanket = best date-in ever!

Annnnd we're doing on again tomorrow night. Transformers 2 baby! Cannot wait!!

Update on 'Asylum' Blog

Hey everyone,

I have posted my first part to my first story on my new blog Asylum, it's called 'A Deceitful Kiss'.
http://asylum-nights.blogspot.com/2011/09/deceitful-kiss.html
Be the first to check it out, and tell me what you think.

Love you all. Ciao!

Scarlette

Hey everyone,

I'd like to introduce the new addition to our little family. Before I start, I'd like to say that I didn't need to get another pet, I chose to. I saw her, and fell in love instantly. Her name is Scarlette. She's 7 weeks old and a chihuahua cross pomeranian.
I met her on the 26th of August, at Pets Paradise in Dandenong Plaza. We were originally heading there to do some grocery shopping and to pay some of Nick's suit. Didn't expect to be also carrying a new puppy with our shopping but oh well these things happen. Hamlet and her get alnog really well. At first he was a little jealous as she seemed to be getting all the attention, but now they sleep together in the back seat of the car and fight each other for the rights to eat the massive-arse bone we have.

She hates the lead if you pull on it, she'll dig her little feet into the ground and pull with all of her might. Basically, you have to have the lead dragging on the ground or else she's not going anywhere. So far, she also hates the bath. Little princess doesn't like to get her feet wet. Yet, she loves her bed and her new stuffed toy 'Bunny'. She's likes to lick you, and climb up you like a scratchy pole. She loves sleeping next to you. I couldn't love her more.

Miss Priss

Cheeky Girl

Biting my finger



Hamlet & Scarlette

I love her to pieces, and nobody is going to put her into their hamdbag and take them home with them. That goes out to you, Miss Kerri, keep you're mits off. Love you!

That's it for now. If you would like to know anything else, shoot me a comment.

Ciao!

New Blog

Hey everyone,

I have a new blog called Asylum. It's where I will be posting all my stories.

URL: asylum-nights.blogspot.com

Check it out if you're interested. I haven't posted any story yet, but I am hoping I shall soon.

Love lots,
Ciao!

The Impairment of Illness

Hello, my fans! Top of the morning to you.

I'm having a TGIF feeling wash over me today. Might have something to do with the fact that it is actually Friday, but I'd like to think deniably otherwise. :)

Moving on...

I've been having thoughts about depression, and what it's like for a person who has it, and how to help them. We have to pick a health issue for an assignment, and I've decided to go with depression. The issue fascinates me, whilst also makes me feel empathetic, mostly because I have suffered the illness before as well. My tutor told me that there's impairment in the cognitive side of the brain that processes logic and blocks the flow of blindness to emotions. I was taken aback by the reference to cognitive impairment; I mean I am not impaired myself enough to think that's just laziness or excuses. I have believed it to be a legitimate illness. I just never really understood the full specks of it before. Because honestly, it's not something you honestly want to get to know or admit you have. There are lot of labels attached to it, none anyone wants.

Depression is not something people like to be diagnosed with, but it's something that almost everyone experiences throughout some time in their life. Some people are able to deal with it better than others, doesn't mean that there's something wrong about those others. Depression hits people in different ways, and therefore, people deal with it differently. Some even need medication to deal with it. There's no harm in it. Sometimes, it could even be beneficial to some. See, this is what fascinates me. I want to find out more, I want to help people. Mental illnesses have always lured me. Its part of the reason I want to become a psychologist, to help people with dealing with illnesses such as depression.

Autism is another disorder that has drawn me to this profession. I know I could always immerse myself in the programs that help these individuals. But I want to involve myself in their lives, know the struggles and help them. I want to give them someone to talk to when it seems hard to talk to someone else. Social disorders attract me. The way someone can be so intelligent in one aspect and inept in another. Then again when you think about it that could be said for all people. But this is like, um, when you think of a beam on the tip of a triangle edge, balancing like a seesaw. That is there's too much on one side; it can make it impossible for the other side to come down.

I have watched individuals be pushed away, and looked down upon by people or groups simply because of the fact that they can't connect as succinctly as others do. Sometimes, they even make fools of themselves in our eyes. But when you look, I mean really look at them, they are unconcerned by the dismissal. And yet, when I look at them, my heart immediately aches. To see such cruel treatment displayed and them not be able to understand that they're being mocked. I sometimes feel disgusted by the way people can simply be cruel because they know that the individual can't understand what they're doing.

I've seen people with this illness say things that make me cringe because I know how people see it. I think don't say that, because I see the looks in other people's faces. And I immediately want to shield them away from those looks like they have fire coming out of them. I have seen assumed friends of these individuals mock them, and I just want to go and either yell or slap that 'friend' in the face. But the thing is that, I don't really know how all this actually affects the individual. And that's what I want to find out. I'm so curious.

Back to depression, there are times when I see sparks of the person you once knew, and you know right then, that you'll do anything to keep those sparks flying. And there are other times when you want to scream and yell at the person. But in the end, you know the only way to help them is to get them to help themselves. Last semester I did a subject on Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It was never about telling the person what they should do, but getting them to understand on their own the problems in their life. And helping them to mend them. It always seemed to me like the hardest therapy in the world. Because how can you help someone who doesn't want help. Or someone who only hears what they want to hear. I know I just want to tell people what they should do, because I feel that they don't see it. But it's not true. They see it. But even though it's a logical solution in my eyes, someone in their state would be thinking emotionally. And I just want to help them, mend their problems for them, because I want to make it easier. This is why I think that CBT is a hard therapy to use, regardless of whether it's the right one.

Alright, so now I am very much rambling. As I usually do. I have just been so fascinated by mental illnesses lately that I needed to let it all spill out of my head and into written words. Anyway, I must get back to work. As you could probably imagine by my writing this blog is that the store is once again dead. Yippee for me, boredom is just around the corner. Hope you lovelies have a wonder-filled weekend. I might be back later this afternoon, probably due to the lack of life in here. Talk to you then. Ciao!

Ahh Sprinkles

Hey everyone,

I'm at work once again. Dead, once again. Sometimes, I wonder how we're still in business. Yet again, hoping beyond hope, that we don't have to close shop, because I'm comfy here and so can't be bothered looking for another job. It's was really busy yesterday, so maybe today, people don't need to come in. I'm alright, I'm good with a quite day. Although, doing Suduko while you work is getting to the point of bottom pit boredom.

I have the military ball this saturday night. I am having a look at my dress tonight. Yippee! I hope it looks amazing. I can't wait. I mean I still need to get a mask. But I am really looking forward to it. I have never been to a ball before. I just want to feel like a princess and have at least one dance with my boyfriend.

Hmm what else is going on in my life. Not much really. Really putting myself under pressure, by leaving my assignments to the last minute, I swore I would do better this semester, but at leats I am not writing the dam thing on the last day. I wrote 1000 words of it yesterday, so proud of myself. Only 600 to go, and it's due tomorrow, I'd have it all done tonight, and then I can relax before I start again on saturday. I gotta say the pressure this semester makes me write better fortunately.

Anyways, I didn't really have that much to say today. I know, bummer right? But that's okay. Have a good afternoon, and if I get really bored I will probably blog again this afternoon. Let's hope it doesnt get to that. Ciao!

Boredomvillia!

I was just thinking, that I can't believe how boring having no customers can be. Any minute now tumble weed will roll by me, and the smell of wheat will fill the air, as boredom washes over me. I know, I am a bit melodramatic, but the time is calling for some dramatisation.

I have been thinking that life is peculiar. Or maybe I am. It's one of the two, I guess. There are so many things that present itself in a peculiar life. Strange occurrences, heightened emotions, and lack of caredness. I have gotten to the point in my peculiar life, that I no longer care for petty whinging. Oh, my life is bad, boo hoo hoo hoo. Sometimes, you just want to say to people, 'Oh get over yourself, it's never as you're making out'. Sometimes, it feels as though, people create drama to make their lives more interesting, but in the end, all it does is annoy everyone, because for some insane reason you just can't be happy and it's getting retarded and repetitive.

I have a high tolerance for people and optimism that they will change and get better if only we point them in the right direction, but sometimes, some people just cannot be helped and all they want to do is wallow in their misery. I remain in the positive outlook on life category. Because I feel what's the point in wallowing? doesn't make anything any better, and all it seems to be doing is pushing people away.

I enjoy and love my life. I haven't always, I'll admit. I never dwelled on it, or tried to make it worse, just accepted that that's how it was for the moment. Sometimes, it's hard to get out of a rut, but if you have enough sense, you start to realise - 'is this really how I want my life to be at the moment? Do I really want to be misery's little bitch?'

I honestly don't know what I am talking about at the moment. And you're all looking at me like I am a nutcase because I can't seem to keep a train of thought. I have never been one for lingering on a subject too long. So many things just run through my head and I get lost in the thoughts. I'll admit, my mind is fascinating and if I didn't have to interact with various people in my life, I'd live in my head. :)

Anyway I think I have waffled on for far too long. Hope you're all wallowing in happiness. Love you all. Ciao!!

Boredom Time Strikes Again!

Hello everyone!

I am writing again for the second time today, and seeing how dead it is in the store today, probably not the last time.

I was thinking about all the random, crazy things that I do, and decided I should blog them and see how many other people do them. Or I am just insane and you people should lock me up :P

• Singing to myself at the bus stop...alone of course (I am not that crazy)


• Laughing out loud in a public and inappropriate places (such as at work, when everyone looks at you funny)


• Constantly read out the funny liked pages on Facebook, that I think is hilarious, and for some reason nobody else does.


• Sometimes snorting when I laugh, almost intentionally.


• Reading Nick's mind. Kinda freaks him out.


• Having a stash of M&M's at work and chewing really quickly when the phone rings, so you don't sound like a hobo on the phone chewing food.


• Singing to absolutely every song I know when they come on the radio. Annoys the hell out of Nick.


• Flicking my nails (okay these are starting to be bad habits and things Nick hates me doing :))


• Always smelling roses even though I have been told that they don't have a smell.


• Eating everything in sight when I am bored out of my brain.

Okay I should stop. I probably have more, but as I write this, I am realising I have way too many weird things that I do. Anyway, my followers. Probably should go back to doing some real work, even though there are still NO CUSTOMERS. Which I should grateful for considering I really can't be bothered today - which generally follows onto the next day. Anyway, see you laterrrr. Ciao!

A Kiss is a Kiss

I don't understand why people think that kissing someone else (whether drunk or not, whether they mean it or not) is not cheating. It most certainly is. I believe a kiss is just as important as sex, if not more. And asking the person not to see the person they kissed, is a very reasonable request (whether they trust you or not). Listening to this younger generation insist on saying that kissing another person whilst in a relationship is not cheating, gets on my nerves. If you're unhappy talk about it, if that doesn't work, well they'll certainly notice you when you decide to break up with them. Hooking up with someone in front of them, well, how is that going to make things any better? I mean really?

And another thing, to have a go at someone for requesting that they don't speak to the person they kissed (in person) is just plain retarded. It has nothing to do with trust, it has to do with the fact that it hurts to know that you've kissed, and that you still believe it reasonable to talk to them again. As time goes past, you can move on from these things, but straight after it's happened, well, you need respect that person's decision.

I have done some things in my past that I am not proud of. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in the sanctuary of a relationship, and devoting yourself to one person. If you care about them, you wouldn't allow yourself to be put in a situation that could be detrimental to that relationship.

Now I am rambling, and starting to sound like I am 70 years of age. Anyway, that is my daily report, so far. We'll see how bored I get nearing the end of the day. Ciao!

Stupid Customer Rant

I'd just like to say that nobody knows how to work a mobile phone these days. It feels like every customer who walks in is absolutely deluded! I mean come on, working a mobile phone is not that difficult. The green button means call someone, the red one means end. The numbers speak for themselves, every page is labelled, like menu - that is so not hard. And if something happens like it just turns itself off or decides to do something weird, how come people dont automatically think to turn the phone off, or take the battery, or even at the last resort take the SIM out. Then put it all back together and then see what happens, why is it that they have to come all the way into store for me to have to do all those very simple and very obvious things to do. I hate the magical part where everything starts working again because I turned the damn thing off.

And what about old people? Seriously, you're like 80 years old. Do you really need an iphone? Is that absolutely necessary? What the hell are you going to do with an iphone? I mean give me a break.

And something else, nobody ever does research before coming into the store, I mean I always make sure I know exactly what I want, how much I spend etc etc. How come almost every customer needs to decide instore? Or I have to make all the decisions for them, what am I their mother? How do they know I am not just ripping them off? Huh? Huh? Tell me that.

Anyways that's it for my rant on stupid customer. That is all. Ciao!

It's That Time Again

Hey everyone,





Must be a work day, as I am on here once again updating you on my life's little happenings. Let me think, what have I been up to this week. Hmm.





Well, I have had my sister Jade over for the whole week, as my parents have been in South Australia. They are supposed to be there for the entire month, but apparently they were given the wrong dates and the trip has to be made again in September. So, I will not be having Jade for the rest of the month, let alone the rest of this week actually. My parents will be driving back on friday and so she will be home with them again on saturday. Funny to say, I am actually going to miss her. The messy room, the funny little quips, playing games on her ipod and watching Ghost Whisperer. But these things happen. She's been accompaining me to Uni this week. Poor thing. Has to sit in a really small lecture theatre and listen to one lecturer who is most definitely gay. The other lecturer couldn't stop making unfunny Dad jokes, and I had to sit there and explain them all to Jade haha. While I was in my tute, with the cute middle aged, Aragon-looking tutor, Jade, Nick and his friend Lachlan had lunch at the campus pub. I met them afterwards. Today, Jade has the whole day with Nick. He has the day off. There's an inspection at 4 and so he has to clean and drop all the pets off at my parents, because we're naughty and havent told the realestate that we have them. But boo for them considering the landlord is selling the place anyway.

Onwards now in the boredom journey, tomorrow is a very special day for me. Two year anniversary. I never thought I'd make here, and now I have, and I couldn't be happier. I am supposed to be taking Nick out for dinner tomorrow night, that all depends on whether I actually get paid on that day of course. Knowing my luck... :p


Anyways, I best be off. Hope you lovelies are having wonder-filled days. Ciao!!

P's Make Degrees...Apparently.

Hey everyone,

I have been waiting for the envitable fail message from Deakin University, saying that I had failed everything for this semester. An unreasonable thought, I'll admit, but one that has plagued. Even to the point then I eventually received the dreaded message, I got Nick to read it for me. His face didn't give anything away, devil. But alas my worries were for nothing. I passed everything!! And it has made me so happy!

Asc101 - 54 P

Hps111 - 58 P

Hsw101 - 60 C

Aip107 - 75 D

I am actually happy with those results, I didn't do well last semester with my assignments, so I am surprised I passed.

Nick did really well on his results as well, I am so very proud of him.

Anyways that's all I wanted to update today. Ciao!

Another Update...Well Not Really :)

Hey everyone.

I'm blogging again for the third time in three days. It's pathetic, I know. But when it's pouring down rain outside, as well as colder than Antartica, then you soon discover nobody is going to be stupid enough to want to come and buy a phone. They're being smart and sitting at home in bed curled up in the doonas and watching movies all day with a hot chocolate and lots of biscuits. So that is why I am blogging. I am bored! Haha.

I was listening to the radio this morning whilst waiting for some to open up the door for work. And on the radio they were discussing how in a long term relationship, the words 'I love you' expressed to one another are now just as unmeaningful as saying 'I want a piece of toast'. It got me thinking, I mean I will always have the fairytale thought running through my head, that 'I love you' is always meant to be meaningful when you say it. I also believe that the words become meaningless if you no longer mean them. Oh I dunno, but it's got me thinking, how I will be in a couple of years, if I am still with Nick.
Sometimes I think people put too much onto the words and the feelings, and leave everything else behind. I honestly believe that if a person doesnt meet my expectations in regards to a relationship (and I dont think my expectations are unreasonable) then I think that that person doesnt deserve me. Then again, I honestly just dont want to be hurt again because I made the mistake of thinking that love was what's supposed to hold a relationship together. I also dont believe though that the relationship has to be hard work every step of the way, I believe there has to be a balance, an equal partnership and trust. But then again I am young and impressionable, and also a little naive I think. I no longer believe in 'true love', that's there's only one for you in the whole world. But I do believe there's someone out there that compliments you in everyway, and that you feel you're on equal footing with; someone you can fight with but not in a malice way, someone you can always fix a mistake with, someone who understands who you are, and just accepts you. Gosh, I am a sap sometimes.

Moving on...
I have also been thinking about my place in the world. Whether in my lifetime I will make a difference to something, or just a difference to my family or friends. Will I contribute something to this life that I lead, or will I just coast through. I've been thinking that I have to do more about my life, about my health etc. I mean I make these promises that I never fulfil and that depresses me a little. I feel lazy, and I feel I complain a lot. It's ridiculous. I should stop complaining and do something. I think my problem is, I dont know where to start. Should I decide to get fit, or should I write more, should I focus more on study, should get I get a car, should I travel? So many questions. I know one thing is, I am definitely going to save more. Even if it's only $5. At least then I can say I am doing something about improving my life. But it's safe to say that even though I have things I want to do, I am still very happy in my life. I have a boyfriend I love (and I know the irony in me saying that just now), I also have 2 gorgeous cats and 1 even gorgeous dog. I love my family, wouldnt know what I would do without them. And wonderful friends who keep me going through my boring days at work at least haha.

Oh it's still raining, so that means still no customers. Joy! I wish Iw as back to yesterday. I was cuddling up on the couch with Nick watching True Grit (really not as bad as I previously expected, and funnily I actually enjoyed it, for a westernish movie) and also watching him play this game called LA Noire which I am completely addicted to, even though I haven't even touched the controls to play it. I also blogged again yesterday, a little poem, nothing fancy, and played poker, won then lost as it always happens. And I had macoroni cheese for dinner, that I made. It was a good, relaxing day in between work and the weather.

Okay, I guess you're all bored now, and so I shall post this and move on to more exciting things, like waiting for customers or picking at my nails, or possibly going for lunch soon yay!
Don't take life and love too seriously my friends and I'll catch again soon, probably tomorrow because I am working again and supposedly it's raining again. Anyways ciao!

The Moon's Lover.

She sings, her voice trembles in the cold, no-one notices.
Wouldn't matter, she is alone on this street as she is alone in life.
Nothing satisfies, not a taste, not a sound.
Her beauty is waning. Crows have nested with her eyes. They sleep alongside her tears.
She hasn't rested in many years. Her body untouched. Her heart unloved.

Her voice carries over the gravel. Swims in the leaves. Only the wind applauds her bravery.
Nothing satisfies, not a single penny, not a single note.
She used to smile, back when the moon was bright. But, it hides with the night.
It hides with her.

She cries no more. She finds comfort in this deserted street. With the howling wind and the whispers of the long forgotten.
Nothing satisfied her, but the roughness of his palms and the cracks in his lips.

She sings to him. The only one she sings for. Until she can't sing no more. Lost within the night. Lost within the dark, only the moon to keep her company.

Updating......Now!

I know it's been a while since I have blogged. Sorry. Things have been quite hectic lately. And as I say this I am at work currently, which is sadly taking up most of my life at the moment. But I feel a little bit better when I can sneakily do this at work. Hehe. I am not a slacker before any of you get any ideas, it's cold out and so very few people are coming in this morning. Actually when I think about it, there has only been one person this morning, pitiful. Oh well, more time for me to blog to you about my boring, weird and yet still entertaining life.

Recently I am on holidays, due to be back at Uni next week. Sigh. So far my holidays have been pretty eventful for me. Kerri came down last week. Which was fantastic! I got to do some much needed shopping on myself. She's such a bad influence on me. But I won't go into too much detail in this entry as I will probably do a full blog about her visit to us down in miserable Melbourne haha. I wish she didn't have to leave but oh well, awesome excuse to have a holiday to Sydney! Anyway, moving on to my next topic.

My first semester of Uni was hard. I failed two assignments. Luckily one of the lecturers allowed me to resubmit for a pass. And I passed, wooh! I don't know yet how I did on my exams. Nerves are on edge, as I think I am going to find out soon. I know I think I did well in my Politics & Social Work subjects. The others, ehh, not really sure how I went, we shall see. I am excited to start back again though, because I know I am going to do so much better. If the first semester has taught me anything, it's that I got a huge wakeup call and now I am going to strive to not leave my assignments to the last minute. Very naughty of me. Hehe. I think I miss studying, I just want to get back into it again.

I've been working more these holidays. Which means more money for saving to go to Vietnam next year. That's right, I am going to be leaving this country...finally! And I so can't wait. Nick has never been there either, so this is a new adventure for both of us. I think I am going to love it!

Other things coming up are, Jade and Jake are staying with us for a whole month. What am I going to do? Little brat has got the whole month off school. But Mum has got her homework for it, so I am going to be cracking the whip. There's not much, so it shouldn't take her long to get it all done. She's easy to look after, so that's good. Although, I think the hogging the bathroom part is going make me crack eventually. Love her pieces!!

Another thing coming up is Nick and my two year anniversary. I can't believe how quickly it has come around. I am taking Nick out for dinner next week. Got Jade staying at her friends for the night. I am so happy at this point in my life. It couldn't get better. Well at least until next year, and then I am in Vietnam, and then my life couldn't get any better.

Well folks, that's all for now, I think. I hope you all enjoyed my little update. Take care. Love you all. xx

Post-Birthday Festivites

Hey y'all, I know it's been a while since I last blogged properly. So here goes nothing.

I don't have any photos yet of my party, those will come soon I hope. But I am just giving everyone a brief update on how the night went. And also avoiding doing my assignment, which Nick is probably going to kill me for. But oh well.

The day started early, like eight, because we though Nick's parents were going to be there early. Which they weren't and so we could've slept in. But that's okay, we got most of the set up started, and cleaning.
Eventually his Dad showed up with the rest of the lights and speakers for the music and all the decorations. Right around the time my Dad came over. He brought Elijah and Jeremiah with him. Gosh, they've grown up a lot. And they are so adorable. But otherwise no different from when I last saw them. So that's okay. I hate when you haven't seen someone in ages and you think of how much they've changed and how much you've missed out on everything and whether you'd be able to catch up in just one session. But it was all good. Dad took me out for hot chocolate and we let Eli and Jai play on the playground while we caught up. There's a lot going on at my Dad's house, a new baby on the way. So poor Amanda is run off her feet. But Dad's not ant Uni anymore, which might be a good thing by the sounds of it, he's a bit fatigued. Probably good to have a break while the baby is going to be coming soon. So we sat there and chatted away for a while, before going to back to my house. Where he met Nick and his Dad. Eventually though Dad had to go. But it was good seeing him again.

Next my parents came to help with everything and Nick's mum and brothers came down too. And we started all the rest of the set up. The banner went up great, except Jade, Kelly and I were there for ages sticking all the letters and stars on. But eventually it look fantastic. All the lights were up and the music connected. Then we were blowing up balloons with hellium, they had little lights in them. It all looked awesome. Finally we all went in to get ready. Jade was really proud of herself because mum let her do her hair and make-up. But mum looked really beautiful. And when she put on her dress, I couldnt but tell everyone who walked in to look at mum and how gorgeous she looked :p

The red acrpet was down and the ropes in place. Everyone was making their way in. Macca held everyone up for about half an hour each group because he was taking so many pictures, by then i felt as though i could no longer smile.

The music was pumping, everyone looked very pretty. Almost everyone showed up. It was a very good night. I was kind hyper and loud. But very excited and so so very happy. Nick did a good job, and I will thank him for it for the rest of his life. As well as his and my parents, who did a tremendous job in making it all go smoothly.

By the end of the night most people were drunk, there was a group of girls, including me that sang to the music and the top of lungs most of the night, i think i lost my voice for a while there. The nutbush as it usually does, and we all did the dance moves. I put it in the playlist just for mum :P

My cousin Brendan got so drunk that we had to help to go the bathroom. He knocked my towel rack down several times and half the time it looked like he was asleep standing up.

The cakes were wonderful. They tricked me by putting candles on that relight after you blow them out, it go so frustrating that I just let Natalie blow them out :p The cheesecake one was especially nice.

The night was so amazing, I had such a good time, and it was so good seeing everyone again. I wished Kerri was there. But otherwise it was awesome. I like to thank Nick and both his and my family for making the night such a blast. I love you all.

Male Barbie? AVOID!!!!

OMG I am so obsessed with this show.
Snog, Marry or Avoid?
It just cracks me up. I found it while I was on youtube looking at a clip for Psych. These people are the most vapid, blonde, make up caked, vain sluts. And it's hilarious.
I am so tradgic, but I cannot help it.

This guy cracks me up the most. It's not a full clip, but when you watch it, you're gonna realise that you really dont need to. Freaking funny!

Meet 'Male Barbie'



Hope you love!
Ciao!!

Distinctioning.

I know it's been a while since I have posted, but I figured I have something to write about now. And that is... I got a DISTINCTION for my first assignment, wooh! Go me! I am the greatest! If you don't know, and because you're lame, a distinction is one down from a High Distinction, and it goes in marking list like this:

High Distinction
Distinction
Credit
Pass
N/A

I am so proud of myself. And I thank my lovely boyfriend for helping me on this assignment, without which I would have gotten a pass probably. :P

What else is news. Well Zepplin went back to the vet, don't worry people nothing to worried about. Just a check up. He got a blood test though, and he hasn't lost any weight, mind you he hasnt put on any either. His kidneys are fine, but I am going to have to get some anti-inflamitries to help with his bladder leakage issues.

Anyways that's it for now, hope ya'll are well and are looking forward to the Easter holidays as I am.

P.s - Disturbed Sunday! So totally awesomeness ( and yes, I know I went all tweeny for a second there, but it's my first real concert, so I'm like virgin :p)

And yes, I did just start singing that song the moment I wrote it. And I reckon you did too. Didn't you? Come on, admit it. You did? Huh, Huh? Hehe.

Ciao!

Video Palooza!

I have finally figured out how to add multiple videos to one blog, so currently I am going nuts.

Below is my favourite video, she's such a psycho it's funny. Enjoy!




And who can forget: Chris Crocker! It just cracks me up.



This one is Kerri's fault, I am so obsessed with her, I cannot stop watching her videos. She highlights so many idiosyncrasies I have. This is called "Keep it".




I don't really have anymore for now. But enjoy anyways. xx

Finally Flyleafing My Blog. Wooh!

Just adding a little bit of love to my blog, because I love, love, love this song. And I so totally have the hots for Lacey.

That is all.
Ciao!

He's Home!

Well, Zepplin is finally home, back with his Mum and Dad. So far he's been alright. Just peeing everywhere except his litter tray, but that's okay because at least he's peeing. I have to give him medicine two times a day and special food. I am taking tomorrow off Uni just to keep an eye on him.

But things are looking up. I missed him and he missed us too. Brushing up against us all the time.

It was tough to get the medicine in his mouth. The first one must taste like shit, cos he was salavating so much and even a little bit afterwards. The second one just slid down. And he's seems to be okay. Everytime I walk in there he's resting on his bed I made up for him. Poor baby.

Diego is always anxious to get in there to see him. He's been howling for the last couple of days, I think he missed him too. Or it's just that Zepplin has food in there, and that's all Diego wants. :p

Right now he's not complaining to get out of the laundry, so I am assuming he's no where near 100% better yet. Especially cos he's still got a little bit of blood in his urine. But apparently that's expected. So far so good. I will give you all another little update tomorrow to let you know if he's progressed or not.

For now, night night xx

New Update on Zepplin

So far he's doing okay. He's not eating and is still in some amount of pain. I got to visit him yesterday, he was all drugged up still from the anethestic. But he kept his eyes open the whole time, and I gave him lots of kisses and pats. And he got some love from Nick too. He was wearing a cone and he had heat packs around him and a blanket over him. Tubes coming out everywhere. He seemed to be okay. There was kittens next to him in the next cage. They were making such a racket, but was okay. It was good seeing him but he might need more blood tests to see how his kidneys are. I still miss him so much and hope he's able to come home tonight. Diego and Hamlet miss him too. Hope you all feel in formed, I wanted to just keep you all update and I thanks you all for your kind wishes and words. I love your guts. Ciao!

Updating Continues

The vet called at 11pm. He told me Zepplin wasn't able to pass urine on his and that he was blocking up again, so he definitely will have to administer a catheter. Another four hours later at six am, the vet called again. They managed to administer the catheter, thank God. As he was going to have to through another round of anethestic. He's a fighter, I'll give him that. But even though they got the catheter in, his kidneys have some damage. They're hoping the catheter we release all the crystals from the urine. But they're going to give him 24 hours and see how his kidneys go. If they get better he should be able to come home, if they don't well then I probably will never see my baby again. I can't handle anymore of this. I miss him so much and I wish I could hold him. We're going to call the vet at 10am, to see how he's going. My prayers are with you, Zepplin, my baby.

Update on Zepplin

The vet called. Zepplin is still pretty sick. But he's a good vet and isnt going to ship him off to a veterinary hospital, he's going to check in on him at 10pm to see how he's going and going to try and put the catheter back in again. Poor thing. He's going to go under another round of anethestic to put the catheter in. I'm so worried and I miss him so much. That's it for now. I will update you again when I know more.

I Love You, Zepplin

Today was probably the worse day I have had all year. Today I took Zepplin to the vet.
Why you ask?

Well let me start at the beginning...

It all started last night when Zepplin wouldn't come in when I called him. He always comes in. Especially when I rattle the cat food. But it took about an hour to get him to come back home. And then when I brought him in he started growling at me. And nick told me he growled at him during the day. Then when we put him down he'd hide himself away. He wasn't eating. I was so worried, and in absolute hysterics; he was never like that.

This morning he seemed to be deteriorating pretty quickly. So I called Mum and she come down to take me and Zepplin to the vet. As he was lying on the tiles and every time he'd move he'd growl regardless of whether we touched him. Every time he walked around his back legs would shake. And he when he went to the toilet this morning he decided he would stay in the litter tray as it was too painful to get out.

We finally got him to the vet, and it was all bad news from there. He had a huge mass in his body, and the vet said that that was his bladder because it was full and that he probably has crystals in his urine preventing him from going to the toilet. They said he needed to have surgery. That if he didn't have it he could die. And if he did have it and if he did take to the anesthetic he could die too and that I would have to choose. If I didn't consent to surgery he would need to be put down, I was in tears the whole time. Of course I decided he should have the surgery. Where they were going to try and empty his bladder and then put a catheter in. I had to leave him there and say goodbye just in case. Tears streaming down my face, I even made my mum and my sister cry too.

I called them just before to see how everything was going. They said he took to the anesthetic. And they emptied his bladder but they couldn't get the catheter in. He's now lying in a bed with heat packs around him and they're going to keep him there over night and see how he goes and whether his bladder fills up again, also try and get the catheter in again. I hope he's okay. I don't know how I am going to go not having him wandering around the house tonight. They say I have to call them in the morning at 10.30am to get the full news from the vet.

I feel a little better knowing he's okay at the moment. But I am still really worried. I am also glad I had some money saved away or else I would never have been able to afford to get him surgery and I would have lost him today.

I'm praying he gets better, and I can bring him home soon.

Providing Viable Blood for the Vampires.

Guess what? I am donating blood tonight. Because I am a good citizen. I am an awesome person. And the fact, I really want to, someone out might need my rare blood (I dont know if it really is rare, but we can only hope that my blood has wonderful magical powers, right?). So right now I am drinking loads of water and trying to stay away from lots of sugars and acid. I hope the vampires are happy. Drinking my blood will be like being on ecstasy. Tripping all the way to Wonderland. I don't know whether I am happy knowing the vampires will be drinking my blood, but at least they aren't getting it freah from innocent children or something. Okay, okay, so I know that vampires aren't real. But it's fun to fantasise about weirdo things. I wish I was magical. I wish I had powers. I think that would make sense. Like I could have some sort of xray vision, or empathy powers. Or freezing. Man I wish I could freeze things. Alright, so now I am going off topic. Alright packing up. Downing tons of water and off to my next class then comes the envitable needle. Burr. I hate needles. Peace out yo!

The Constitution, and all the Rest

The Constitution Hierarchy

States of Constitution

Example of state Constitutional Hierarchy

Now you're probably wondering what the? Since when does this constitute a blog (haha no pun intended). But I have been thinking a lot about all this politics stuff and realised I don't really know the hierarchy of it all. How people go where, who's who? I've been sort of confused when I hear people talk about House of Representatives and Sentates and Legislative power, blah, blah, blah. And you're probably thinking, why the hell are you doing a politics subject if you don't know this? Well I guess I am like most people, we see all the media and the elecitons and we do the voting, and just assume we know everything, because let's face it how could we not. But I am going to be honest, this course has opened my eyes away from my very limited views on the subject.

And after going to my politics class and sitting there going, what the? I decided I needed to educate myself pretty quickly, so with the help of Nick's Constitutional Law expertises I have finally figured out the Hierarchy.

So let me break it down for you:

There's the Constitution, der.

Underneath there's legislative, exectutive and judical power.

Let's start with legislative, now it holds all the people responsible for putting through new legislation. So like Julia Gillard and Tony Abbott and all federal members(house of representatives), and the senate so basically the people who keep the house of reps in check.

Now the executive is basically well lets make it easy, the governor-general of australia Quentin Brice. (or an older rep the Queen) Ta da. The executive power also includes the highest ministry chairmen, prime minster etc.

Then there's Judical - which is basically your jugdes, and they interperate the legislation into laws.

By now you know as much as I do, which sad to say is not much. But this basic view of the Constitution and the Parliament helped me understand the debate dicussion today, which was on whether or not we should up date the Constitution to display current laws and legislation as well as updated rights of Aboriginals and women. I think it's safe to say that I think the Constitution should be updated.

I know, could this post be any more boring. But when I was discussing this with both Nick and my tutor, I found it interesting, and I wanted to write about it. I will be sure to write more interesting topics soon.

Anyways I cannot think what more to write on this subject. Ciao!

P.s. Please forgive my painting skills - the diagrams are grade three stage. :p

Singing in the train, tram, bus. Wherever Man!

You what I love most about public transport. Singing. Not specifically me, but when you hear somebody else singing. Even if they are out of key, I love it. It brightens up my whole day. Because if that person can sing on the bus like nothing matters, then nothing matters, does it? Why do we bother getting upset about things? I mean that guy might be going through the most shittest time in his life, and yet he still sings. And so I smile and nothing gets me down for the rest of the day. It's funny cos these people do it anywhere. Behind me when I am standing at the bus stop. Or on the train with a guitar and no idea how to play it let alone sing along with it. And sometimes there's more than one person, like the boys I noticed the other day singing in harmony at the back of the bus. And even though it feels dorky to do, I do it anyway, this huge, wide grin appears on my face and doesnt disappear for the rest of the day. Sometimes, I even join in, just quietly in my own sit, in my own little world and I feel good. I do not care that I suddenly sound like a complete an utter nutter. I love, love, loooooove it!

Technologically Advanced? Or Robots?

I haven't figured out how to add this as a video so you're just going to have to deal with the link thing at the moment. I added this link because we were told to watch it as a part of an assignment. But it got me thinking. Are we really so intuned into the internet that we no longer know how to live in the real world without it? http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/digitalnation/view/?utm_campaign=homepage&utm_medium=top5&utm_source=top5 I was thinking about all the things I do on the internet. For example:

• Facebook


• Email


• Youtube


• Blogspot


• MSN


• Google etc

It's funny because sometimes I do all these things at once. Does it affect the way I can process things? I believe it does. When I think about it more, I realise that when I am studying, I can't seem to only have one page open, I have two or more pages open. I believe I can sit there and read something and also talk to Kerri on Msn and also be listening to music when I am studying. However I don't believe that I can actively do all these things well when I am doing them all at once.

I find that if I am watching something everything else is stuck on the screen behind - I find I have to pause the screen to be able to talk to people on Msn. Also the fact that my conversations on msn tend to go a little slower as I am always doing something else at the same time.

What scares me about the internet and gaming and virtual world is that people can get so addicted to it. As I watched this video, I discovered that I was frightened by the people who practically live in the cyber nation. In Korea they need Cyber Addiction Camps to help combat the growing number of people constantly jacked into the internet, into games. Conversation with that person changes, they sometimes forget to eat or drink and can be jacked into these worlds for days without a break. I mean how can that be healthy? And is this where we are headed? Do we know where the line is anymore?

There are some people who are so intuned with the virtual world that they don't know how to live without it. A vacation is no longer a vacation because we can still have access to everything that is happening back home. We have internet on our phones, there are internet cafes pretty much everywhere now. I mean how do we escape from this really? Do we go to countries that aren't so updated to the cyber world. Is it possible to be able to live without it? Can we survive without knowing everything little thing going on in the world at every single minute of the day?

As I watched this video, I started to think about how people interact now. So many people live in virtual realities, and have sometimes never met. I have noticed this with myself in one aspect. Kerri is one of my bestfriends, it feels as those I see her everyday. But I don't. In the almost two years that I have known her, I have met her face to face a total of two meetings. She knows things about me and I her that it's weird that we haven't known each other longer or that we don't live nearer to each other. I mean do we feel more freedom when talking to someone over the internet? Are we more ourselves when we don't really have to connect with these people? In games and virtual realities such as World of Warcraft and Second Life, people connect to other people, they talk and help each other out, and in some cases these virtual friends know us better than friends we live close by to, who we see all the time. How is that true? That we can share such an intense connection with someone we have barely met? Is it because we've never met? Or is that we know that they may never see the real me? Is it so easy to form an intense bond with someone, because over the internet, we can be whoever we want to be? Because, lets be honest everyone is thinking the same way. Nobody is going to judge you, because nobody sees you in real life, nobody really knows who you are.

When we meet people for the first time, we always shield ourselves. We never give away everything because we're afraid of rejection, we're afraid of ridicule. Let's face it, we're not going to get that over the internet. It's like a nerd's dream of having lots of friends. It's a way for outsiders in high school to feel like insiders. Is it really a way for us to feel less alone when that's all we are?

I wonder how I would cope if all this were taken away from me. I mean I can connect and find out about how my friends are going in their life by things like facebook and blogging. I find that I have such a busy life that using these things helps me be connected to my friends, helps me still know what is going on in their life even when I don't see them. And I wonder whether this is helping me distance myself from my friends? Whether I need to see my friends at all to still know what is happening in their lives.

It isn't any wonder why people use robots in movies as a source of something scary. Because in a way it is. I mean as we become more immersed in technonlogy, do we ourselves become more technologically advanced or are we just robots and can no longer connect with people without technology?

The Important Things...Like Cheezels.

I made three contracts today. First day of contracts and I made three. Wooh, I am the contract queen. The contract slut as Nick calls me. I felt so good. I felt like I could do this. And I did. And I smashed it!

I brought an office chair for my study yesterday. It's pink and the back bends just enough that it's comfy but not too comfy that I want to fall asleep instead of studying. Nick reckons the seats too hard. You know sometimes he's just a big girl. I mean get over it, sook. It's my chair. Full stop.

It rained today. And my pants smelt like wet dog. And I ate Maccas and so now I feel bad, because I keep eating things I shouldn't. And really it doesn't actually taste as good as I think it does before I buy it. But somehow I forgot that vital piece of information right before handing over the dough. Selective? More than likely.

Zepplin mauled a baby bird the other day. Nick texted me a picture of it. It was sitting in a box and looked perfectly fine. Me, I probably would have released it back in the wild out of sympathy and motherly instinct, but seeing as I wasn't the one dealing with it, the baby bird got a stone to the head. Pure homicidal brilliance, that was. Poor birdy.

I indulged myself the other day. Kerri sat on my shoulder the entire time, I swear. With her little devilish whispering urging me to keep buying. I brought clothes, and was actually surprised at how little I ended up spending, especially because I brought a lot of things. But the things made me feel good. More of the fact that I was spending my money on me for once and not fugly stuff like bills or that gremlin we like to call rent. I didn't buy boots. Sorry Kerri, but I didn't find any I liked enough. But it still felt good to spurge. C:

So our cat sleeps in the dog's bed, and the dog sleeps on our bed.
And the kitten? well he sleeps on the bathroom mat.

Well, I ought to be going to sleep. Night all xx

Wishing Wells and Mad Hatters

I know it has been a while since I last updated. My sincerest apologies.
Words seem to be evading me lately. It's not your fault, I know that. You just come to this page to read me, and I again apologise for my lack of inspiring odes. I do wish I had lots of interesting stories to tell you today, but alas I do not. I only have come to transcribe my current writer's block in hopes that something will slip out of my crazy mind. So far...nothing. Just peachy.

I have this sudden case of Living-in-my-Head syndrome. Such fanatstic stories and fantasies live there, in my head. But when it comes to expressing them, well, as you can tell...nothingness.
Here's something, but it is all.

Only Alice in Wonderland tells,

of bridges of brick, and wishing wells.

Of scarlet red roses, bright blue seas,

of children's monsters and maple trees.

Because when you're as mad as a hatter

and life does not much really matter,

and nothing inspires, but insane rhyme,

nothing but endless space and time.

I could write you this colourful scene,

and tell you where the bad boys have been.

But nothing escapes these ruby lips,

and nothing flees these pirate ships.

Because nothing remains,

because nothing contains

these crazy images of my hell.

As nothing is nothing

like only something is something,

when it's just a crazy wish to a wishing well.

No More Needs to be Said

'I am currently sitting at Uni...on my everlong break...bored out of my brain....but at least I have the awesome Kerri online to entertain me.' - Quote of the day, by Kerri Allen.

Hour Long Intros.

I start work tomorrow. And I don't know whether I am excited or scared. I fear they have forgot they asked me to start work and just say 'who are you?.' But lets not dwell. Today is my second day of Uni and last day for the week. I am thrilled to have my brain filled with knowlegde, and also a little bit tired of reading that my head hurts always. Too many words and yet as I say this I realise I am writing more words. Well at least this is more for lesiure.

I'm finding that Kerri and I are texting frequently. I think that's the only way either of us would survive Uni and it's hour long intro sessions and the lovely long bursts of knowledge. Although I have to say and sorry Kerri that I do so, but I feel my subjects are more interesting than yours. LOL - kidding. Although you'd probably agree with me anyways. And I know as I sit here and type that Kerri is texting me every five minutes cos she's currently experiencing and hour lnog intro. Have fun!!

I am tired. I know I said that before, but man I tired. I want to go home and sleep til my birthday cos I know there is no way I am studying that weekend. Although when I come to think of it now, I am probably going to go double time study so I dont have to on my birthday. But my mind will ignore that right now cos it's not important and puts a wet blanket on my excitement.

Anyways enough rambling. Time to go back to study then blissful sleep.

A Better Way to Live

Has officially started Uni. And I couldn't be more excited. Did all of my lectures yesterday. Two of which I enjoyed immensely. One of which bored me to tears - Contemporary Australian Politics. I know what you are thinking, yep, even the name is a taken from a sign in Boresville. The level of boring was given an added exasperated sigh by just looking at the lecturer; a distinguished, grey-haired older man looked to be in his 50's with a slight lisp every time he got excited about something, which almost seemed to be everything.

The topics were seeing as they related to current themes, but in no means gave us anything to jump for joy about. It's not hard to know what is going on in today's politics as the politicans are doing such a bang up job that they are making the news every night. And not in a, we-solved-something way, in a we're-a-bunch-of-morons-who-act-like-children-and-dont-really-know-how-together-to-achieve-one-goal way. But alas this was the topic of the hour, as well as poles, parties, the pendulum and statistics such as the party mapping and the census results. I know from what it sounds, that it can't be that boring if I managed to remember everything that was said the next day. Truth be told that I already knew the topics and are therefore not needing a refresher course anyways but alas got one.

I think the reason why it seemed to that aspect of well boredom was the fact that the guy was ancient. And I don't mean appearance, I mean in reality. It felt like he was almost so afraid of technology that if he could he would've whipped out a chalk board with actual chalk.
No power point, only over head projectors with lots of flattering pictures of all the current politicans. No lecture notes online to study and no recordings. But all in all he still got some little laughs out of me. Kill me :p


The rest of the day was fascinating. Just absorbing so much information that you fear you'll forget the moment the slide is not in front of your face anymore. So many faces. I had about 200 people in my psych lecture and probably close to the same in my sociology one too.
In soc, we watched a tv series called Breaking Bad. Quite interesting. About a very nice man, doing to the good thing in life getting handed a raw deal. Been told he has cancer but not enough health insurance to cover it. And so he basically becomes a meth maker and distributor to provide for his family. Society's way of saying I am going to fuck with your life so you eventually become the scum of the universe, hope cancer treats you well. I pitied the man, regardless of the fact that it was fictional drama. You see people in life, including yourself and you think, why me? Why do these things only happen to me? There's a spoiled brat who gets everything handed to her and things just come so easy to her. She'll live to be rich model etc. And I'll struggle my way through college to only earn a little bit more than her. Is it worth it? Who knows. But the series just got me thinking about that kind of stuff. How one person can receive so much and deserve it, and how another can work hard his whole life and to just get screwed by society who favour the privileged.

As you are aware, Uni has sparked a light in me that I thought I'd forgotten. I love to study, to be filled with knowledge, to be passionate about something. Today I am hoping to join the Environment club. A discussion yesterday with Nick got me thinking.
Finally I am excited by something that I can achieve, and I have never felt better.

Events of my little Life.

I just got a call today that I now have a job. Wooh! Finally, feels like forever since I last worked. I start next Thurs from 830-5. This is great, because I'll be at Uni from mon to wed. I am really looking forward to it. It's only casual job, on the floor retail sales. But it's something none the less. And it will help me get further we saving for a car.

I start Uni next week also and I absolutely cannot wait either. I went to orientation, and pretty freaked myself out. It was just so overwhelming. And then with the knowledge of knowing when all my assignments are due is really doing my head in. But I know once I start I'll be fine.
I miss studying so this is gonna be good.

My birthday is coming up faster now. My dress will arrive in April. And we've got the marquee and stuff coming at the moment. It feels as though it's all finally coming together. I am so excited to see all my friends and family again.

April is going to be good also. I am going to the Disturbed concert. Is so going to be awesome!! I am going with Dawnie. She's going to pop my concert cherry as she's always wanted to.

Well this seems like enough of a rant. Love my lovely peoples xx

Ciao!

Red Carpet Theme

I think the prepartions for my birthday party are finally on their way. We got the marquee, carpet and my dress coming. Quotes for the tables and chairs, backdrop and ropes. Ideas on photography. I am so psyched. I feel like I sort of stuck at this moment in my life so it feels good to have something to get psyched about. That and Uni of course.

I believe the night is going to be awesome. And I thank, thank, thank so much for my wonderful boyfriend who is organising everything. It will be so good to be surrounded with family and friends and to dance and drink and have a good ol' party. I hope beyond hope that Kerri is able to come down, but if she can't I know she'll be there in spirit having a cocktail with me, and still trying to get Dawn drunk.

Nick and I are planning to have my parents and his meet before my party, just because mostly everyone will probably get drunk and not give their best impressions. But other than that I hope to get boogie on for the night. And cannot wait until we get everything for the night and know that no matter who or who doesnt show, I am going to have the best birthday party ever.

Thank, thank, thank-you, Nick. Love you so very much.

My dress for the night. Cannot wait!!

Chalk and Maturity

I went to an interview today that turned out to be a really good interview. I don't know whether that means I got the job or not, but I was pleasantly satisfied with it. I almost didn't make it, considering I only just read the email two hours after my initial interview time. But I saved it by calling to reschedule. Not so much a different day to others, but more I-felt-better day, I guess.

I've realised that I cannot wait to start Uni in March. I have an information day next week. And I am super thrilled about the prospect of getting books and possibly a desk for studying. I miss studying and having assignments and deadlines. It's amazing to have a routine again and to be passionate about something again. It is also awesome to get out of the house too.

I miss the drive of going to Tafe or Uni etc. Meeting new people and the school-like atmosphere. There's such knowledge that surrounds you when you walk onto a campus. So many brains all cuddled up in towering buildings and sitting in non air-conditioned classrooms. I love listening to people's opinions on subjects and the interaction. Man, am I super excited.

The thought of studying brings me back to high school. The smell of chalk, the sticky gum under tables. The bell. The lockers. The familiar faces of classmates and friends. The only thing I don't miss is the uniform, it's too conservative. And not having a uniform at uni is displaying that sense of independence and maturity.

I don't think anything can compare to knowledge and being learned. I do not care whether people think I study too much. You can never study too much, you can never know enough. I love learning, I love knowing. I love knowing there is always something I can learn.
And that will never change...

Cuddling the Huntsman

There's too much to say and then not enough. You wanna write, you don't wanna write. You wanna sing until someone tells you off, which is usually in the beginning. You wanna dance but with no-one. You wanna dance alone and not look stupid. But can you? Can you be that person that doesn't care? Do I wanna be that person?

Can you really understand how to be confident? Is it something you just learn? I wanna learn how to not back down, how to say how I really feel. I think a really confident person doesn't care about other people. I mean that's the only way you can do what you want to do. Say things that aren't said. Do things that aren't done. Society has made us scared. Scared of hurting someone's feelings, of singing in public, of getting into a fight. I back down, I know that. I am a people pleaser, I also know that. I don't know how not to be. I also know the cause.

The cause is always the blame for our failure. We don't blame ourselves, we blame the cause. But in the end, the reasons why we cannot overcome our fears is that we don't really want to. I'm not saying that we go right up to that fat, hairy huntsman, pick it up, take it to bed and cuddle it. What I am saying is that the things we can really control, like confidence; shouldn't we be doing more to overcome these irrational fears?

Easy said, easy done. Does it start with a new you? Do clothes, hair and a tan really maketh the man? I don't know. Does practicing it in your head really make you better in bed? Who knows. What I do know is that if we don't even try we're still blaming the cause. And when has blame ever gotten us anywhere?

Let's take steps. Little ones. Bigger ones. Little ones again. But let's take them. Let's take them to Paris, Mexico, Spain, or our backyard. Let's use the steps to sing even if someone hates it, to dance alone and look stupid, to say things that aren't said and to do things that aren't done. And let's get it done already.

I'm Deakin it.

I am about to start Uni at the start of March.
Am I excited? Yes.
Am I also shitting myself? Most definitely.

Now I have to get back into the mode of studying again. And I really haven't written an essay since high school. So good luck with that Beckee. But I believe this is it for me. This is the start of my journey to Psychology and helping people help themselves.

I have found over the years that people have come to me for advice or help with their situations. I really don't know when you look at me, where they get the idea that I would be the right person to talk to. I mean I am almost always nice, and never really tell you what you probably need to hear. Or if I do it's in a way that would almost always never hurt your feelings. That's probably a shock to all the people I have given advice to over the years, but it's not like what I do say doesn't help them in any way. I guess I don't like to tell people what to do. They will always do what they want to regardless. I like to suggest things and give people choice, options. I like to give them ways to help themselves. Because really what has anyone learned from people telling them what to do.

Honestly I don't like to put myself in the situation that where someone has gone to me for advice and they've taken what I have said as gospel and that they should do things that way. I mean these people aren't me; they don't have the same goals or have the same idiosyncrasies. I want them to take the advice and use it in a way that it's more like an idea. They can take pieces from it or whole chunks. But they apply it to their style, their way of thinking. Take it in steps.

As I was saying as I started off this rant, which was originally about going to Uni and back to study, is that I like listening to people. I like understanding about their life. I am fascinated by the way people act and behave. Where people have come from, to make them who they are today. I am fascinated by expressions and emotions. I love hearing their story, because sometimes it can give me a break from mine. A way where I don't have to think about my life for a while. Put myself into some kind of perspective. I mean my life isn't at all bad. I love everything in it: my boyfriend, my pets, my family and my friends.

When I listen to people tell me about their life and problems, it's like reading a book. The richness in the words and in the emotions. The way a person's body moves to convey different expressions. How some people cannot talk at all - they're just a cover. And that's amazing as well. Just the cover. A cover can draw you in - the colours and pictures. I mean the eyes can almost tell you everything. The fiddling with their fingers. I can almost see the itching inside of them, begging them to give in and say something. I love watching the stubbornness take over. I love watching the struggle as you know they want to talk to you. It's like having a cover over flowing with colour and pictures that it almost clashes and you might not want to pick it up off the shelf. But it makes a itch you know you'll scratch eventually.

What I am trying to say is I am so god dam excited about going to Uni, going to learn how I can scratch the itch. Yet I am so dam scared that if I do, if I scratch the itch, will it satisfy in only scratching one itch or will it create more until you have lots of little bumps all over your skin, and you're afraid if you keep scratching you'll only bleed.